This is a beach region. While planning, we wanted to make sure there was time available for doing nothing. To sit on a beach for a few days and simply listen to the lapping of waves. Hoi An is probably the most beautiful beach I've ever seen. Pristine white sand, crystal-clear blue water, and hardly another soul in sight. It was very difficult to lay there reading a book or napping. I couldn't stop looking around at the unspoiled beauty and saying, "Damn. I'm on an awesome beach. In Vietnam." Which was of course very annoying to my wife. But, I couldn't stop saying it.

I maintain that Hoi An is the single-best place in the universe for dating. Sharing this information with you is the greatest service ever provided by any website. Ever. The mothazone should receive a Nobel for notifying the public at-large. Why? Why is Hoi An the greatest place on Earth for dating?

After lounging on the beach and around the pool all day, we left the luxe and cozy Hoi An Beach Resort to check out the town. Downtown Hoi An was over-run with tourists from every stripe and brimming with a myriad of restaurant options. We settled on the most romantic-looking place we could find. We ordered glasses of wine and an entree comprised of rice, vegetables, and baked fish. The fish was sublime. It was caught fresh and baked in a banana leaf. And large. The thing is, it was very bony; so bony that my wife was unable to finish hers. Chivalrously, I volunteered to finish her entree.

When the bill came, it was $6.00 (six dollars) . This is not a typo. I am writing this sober. $6.00. Granted, my wife was still hungry. But I had taken her to dinner - wine included - and the bill was only $6.00. I couldn't stop smiling. The best date I've ever had. Guys, call your travel agents.

The next morning, I was still feeling on top of the world. After all, I had taken my wife to a romantic dinner (wine included) and only had to spend $6.00. Before heading to the beach, we decided to stop by the hotel's lobby to see if they had wi-fi. While waiting to talk to a hotel representative, we overheard a new zealander tourist say in turn "typhoon" and then "evacuation." Our eyes went wide.

The inquisitorial commenced. Was there a typhoon coming? Did we need to evacuate?

To this day, we are still astounded by the hotel staff's reaction. Invariably, we were met with shoulder shrugs, dismissive waves of the hand, and weak smiles. While all around us, the staff was busily preparing the resort for high winds and heavy rain. During the time we were grilling the staff for information, the beach chairs were being brought in, trees were being tied down, and windows were being covered. Sigh.... so much for a few days on the beach.

We hustled downtown and got in contact with our travel agency. Useless. We found an office for our airline and made arrangements to get the next thing smoking its way outta the typhoon zone. It was sad to leave early, but we couldn't risk being trapped in a flood zone. Given the hotel staff's reaction to our concern, we had a feeling that nurturing stranded tourists wouldn't be high on the agenda when all hell broke loose.

Thus ended our budding love affair with Hoi An.